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Nipple clamps put in an appearance, but only on fingers. Fifty Shades’s chief way of proving how dirty it is seems to be making its stars take endless showers – which inevitably leads to more sex, and so a terrible cycle of shagging and washing.Ī few leather cuffs do pop up, but they’re unbuckled fast so the missionary position can be better adopted. Spliced between such drama come the sex scenes, steamy as a greasy spoon and almost as erotic. The plotless pant of the novel is faithfully recreated, as Christian wins Anastasia back by renouncing bondage unless she’s really, really up for it, then various peripheral figures – a former submissive, old flame Kim Basinger, Anastasia’s hot rotter of a boss – try to force them apart. Submission might turn on our hero – and, perhaps, his creator – but it does not make for a gripping film. In her place: the slavish duo of James Foley (House of Cards) as director and Niall Leonard (Mr EL James, coincidentally) in charge of the script.
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She then departed the franchise, apparently in reaction to the author’s whip-cracking. She coached charming performances from Dakota Johnson as bookish graduate Anastasia Steele and Jamie Dornan as deranged but dishy billionaire Christian Grey. Somehow, in 2015, she transformed James’s appalling porn into something watchable. Finally, a funnel for all that lust.īut the only thing aroused by this headache of a movie is a desire to see Sam Taylor-Johnson back at the reins. In tilting for Oscars, contenders are emulating the statuettes’ anatomy.Įnter Fifty Shades Darker, the second instalment of EL James’s shamelessly mainstream sadomasochist romance.
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Film fans in search of titillation are unlikely to be sated by Loving’s snuggles or Moonlight’s angsty, unseen intimacy. La La Land may be sold on its leads’ sizzling chemistry, but Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone remain strictly zipped throughout.